no, he came in my armpit
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
