HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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