My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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