He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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