Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
