God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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