people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
