her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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