I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
