come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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