Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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