I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
