He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
