We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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