"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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