You really coming over, don't trick.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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