I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We just shotgunned beers for America
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
