the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
