I'm jealous of your bromance
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
