Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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