i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
should my penis look like a turkey
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
