I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
