Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I can text with my tongue
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
