I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
