ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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