Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
