I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
