Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
