it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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