As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
