jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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