New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He? As in you personified your dick?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
