is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
