dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
