Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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