youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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