man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
