they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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