I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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