We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
