But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so let's talk penis.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
