that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize