found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
