You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
