yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I am one with the molecules
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
