we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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