Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
