thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
you never un-have a 4some
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
