The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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