But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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