I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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