Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
