Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
