Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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