His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
