The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
