so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
