Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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