dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
MIDGETS
????
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When are your genitals available?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
