PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
