it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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