I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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