you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
