you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
