TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
